


Look, Papa, No Hands

by rotKaiserin



Series: modern joker [9]
Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Gen, Minor Amari/Tazaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 02:20:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11476557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotKaiserin/pseuds/rotKaiserin
Summary: What better revenge is there than to teach another man's child how to ride a bike?(or: Hatano teaches Emma how to ride a bike. Amari is not happy.)





	Look, Papa, No Hands

**Author's Note:**

> misleading title is misleading since there's no actually bike riding LOLOLOLOL but i...... i really don't know how to explain this fic, but i saw this [tweet](https://twitter.com/ceejoyner/status/855141525071822852?lang=en) one day and thought "Perfect Fic Material" and. i guess. this was born (ﾟﾍﾟ)
> 
> ehehe anyways, this runs with my hc that hatano is a gamer! and uh... (this'll make sense in a few) but nintendo switches are like really expensive and hard to find because there's not too many produced :') and ah, if you've read my previous modern AU fics, you'd have noticed that amataza isn't established yet but here they are; i'm just jumping around in the timeline a bit haha
> 
> this is cross posted on my [writing blog](https://missblanchette.tumblr.com/post/162883590663/look-papa-no-hands-11)! thanks for reading and i hope you guys enjoy~! (*￣∇￣)ノ

Hatano wouldn't usually call himself as "a dick." Sure, there are times where he's an asshole, but it's because the other person deserves it. Like whenever Jitsui's sadism becomes too overwhelming or Miyoshi's ego gets to his head or the fact that Kaminaga exists in general. He's not a dick for no reason -- it's just to put others in their place.

And today he feels like being a dick.

He clearly remembers how Amari did him wrong last week -- not that Amari's aware of the severity of the situation. After spending the entire afternoon in Akihabara trying to find a freaking Nintendo Switch (which he did, all at the cost of a whooping 45,500 yen and his will to live), Hatano ran into Amari who'd invited him to dinner and who was he to deny free food? But being the dumbass that he was, he'd forgotten the Switch at Amari's place and didn't notice until well after he got home..

"Oh, that...?" Amari said, the moment Hatano called and asked him about it. With just those two, simple words, Hatano knew it wasn't gonna end well. "I didn't realize it was yours and let Emma play with it."

So far, so good. Hatano even felt a little proud that Emma had taken an interest in gaming. But Amari just had to continue speaking.

"Then, uh, Frate ate it --" Oh _shit_. "-- and it broke."

Right there and then, Hatano's soul left his body. He'd been saving up for _weeks_ to buy a Switch, even refusing Jitsui's offer to split the cost because he wanted to buy everything with his own money. That was 45,500 yen down the drain. Not to mention that dipshit Odagiri's probably gonna show off his Switch next time they hang out. Fuckin'. God dammit.

"I'm really sorry!" Amari said but Hatano had already grown numb. "I'll pay you back!"

Oh, he'll pay all right.

Amari's a nice guy, don't get him wrong; he's always been there for him and has helped him through tough times. In fact, if he's drunk enough, he may even admit to seeing him as an older brother. But that doesn't change the fact that he can be an airhead and Hatano is petty as hell.

So when Amari asks him to watch Emma, he doesn't hesitate. It takes some convincing to Jitsui to let her stay on such short notice, but Jitsui's happy to comply once he lets him on in the plan. After Emma's dropped off, Hatano waits fifteen minutes to make sure Amari's gone. Then, he turns to her.

"Hey, Emma."

"Yes, Uncle Hatano?"

"Ya wanna learn how to ride a bike?"

The sparkle in her big, blue eyes is all the answer he needs.

* * *

After what happened last week, Amari's had some hesitations leaving Emma with Hatano for the day. He thought for sure Hatano would just shoot him down, but surprisingly, Hatano accepts without any complaints. Though, Amari's not really in a position to question it since he's pressed for time. Not that he doubts Hatano (though, Jitsui's another story), but he's glad to see Emma all in one piece when he comes to pick her up. Hatano even sends them off with a smile, a sight he doesn't see too often.

"Papa, Papa! Guess what?" Emma asks as they take the elevator down. She bounces excitedly in his arms and despite how tired he feels, Amari can't help but share her enthusiasm.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Guess!"

"Hm, okay. You went to the aquarium and saw the dolphins today."

"Nope~ Guess again."

"No? Then did Uncle Jitsui let you help with his manga?"

"Nuh-uh. One more try."

"Okay then... you and Uncle Hatano made flour bombs!"

"No~" Emma giggles. "It's none of that!"

"Well, don't leave me hanging," Amari teases.

"Uncle Hatano taught me how to ride a bike!"

Amari chokes, nearly dropping Emma in the process.

"Are you okay, Papa?"

"J-Just fine, darling." It takes all his strength not to cry right there and then. "I-Is that so? How did it go?"

Emma wastes no time explaining the bike riding lesson and chatters on about how fun it was and how fast she went and how cool it was to finally be on a big girl bike, but it all goes into one ear and out the other as they make their way back to the car.

For some time now, Emma's been wanting to ride a bike, claiming that she's gotten too old for her tricycle. It's taken a while, but Amari finally ordered the perfect bike for her -- a bright pink one with those colorful tassels on the handles and a cute, little basket in the front. There's even a bell on it, because she says she likes the way they sound.

It was supposed to be a surprise when it comes in later in the week, but... he figures it doesn't mean much now.

* * *

Tazaki reserves his mornings for his birdies-and-me time and no one -- not even those closest to him -- is allowed to interrupt it. So when his phone rings, he's already going through possible forms of punishment to whoever's calling. Not even a hint of mercy crosses his mind when he sees "Amari (dolphin emoji) (heart emoji)" on the screen.

He answers, ready to reprimand Amari for disturbing him, but a shrill cry cuts him short.

"Uncle Tazakiii!!"

"Emma, dove," he says as calmly as possible. As he hears her hiccuping on the other end, he decides that maybe he'll make one exception. "What's wrong?"

"Papa, h-he won't get up...!"

Grip tightening on his phone, Tazaki's heart drops and his blood runs cold.

"Did something happen?"

"I-I don't know..." She sniffles. "I t-tried waking him up but he won't get outta bed."

By the time she's finished speaking, Tazaki's already put on his shoes and grabbed his keys.

"Don't worry, dove, I'll be right there," he says and wasting not a second, he scrambles out of his apartment. It's times like these that he wishes he had a car, but he's able to make it to Amari's place quickly nonetheless.

As soon as he gets there, Emma clings onto him for dear life. He takes a moment to help her calm down and reassures her that no, Papa isn't dead and yes, Papa will be all right (probably, he thinks, but he doesn't want to start freaking out either). Once she's settled down with Frate to keep her busy, Tazaki steels himself and enters Amari's room.

He finds a giant lump lying on the bed that he can only assume is Amari, but it's still and silent and Tazaki has to remember to take a breath in and a breath out and a breath in and a breath out and -- screw it, he can't possibly concentrate on his breathing exercises right now. With Emma out in the living room, he's allowed to freak out as much as he wants.

"A-Amari!" He rushes to his side and practically throws the covers off, and there's Amari laying face down without any hints of life. Kneeling down next to him, Tazaki takes one of his hands in his and starts shaking him. "Are you okay?"

The seconds tick by with no response from Amari and oh God, Tazaki thinks, how's he going to break this to Emma? She's already lost her birth parents, now she's lost another one and wait, being Amari's boyfriend means the responsibility of taking care of her goes to him. But he's not ready to raise a child by himself and oh no, his boyfriend's dead, how's he supposed to deal with this? He's never had a dead boyfriend before --

"Tazaki...?" Ever so slowly, Amari tilts his head towards him.

"Oh thank God," Tazaki says, cradling Amari's face in his hands. Taking a closer look at him, Amari's eyes are tired and dull and it's so strange seeing him without his usual cheer. "Emma said you wouldn't get out of bed so I thought something bad happened like you were paralyzed or you slipped into a coma or -- o-or --" Tazaki pauses to collect his thoughts. "I just... what happened?"

"Sorry for worrying you," Amari says, giving him a weak smile. "It's just that Hatano..."

He trails off, voice cracking. Tazaki leans in.

"W-What about Hatano?" Oh God, did something happen to Hatano that he's not aware of? He's a reckless guy, so it's not unlikely that he'd get himself into some sort of accident or get involved with the wrong people or --

"He... taught Emma how to ride a bike."

"Oh my God! I can't believe -- wait." Tazaki blinks once. Twice. Three times. Then it really sinks in. "What."

In his head, Tazaki replays the words over again and stares at Amari's sorry state. He opens his mouth to speak, but finds that he can't properly express himself with words. So instead he lets go of Amari, grabs the pillow from underneath his head, and smacks him.

"Ow! Why --"

"That's it?" He hits him again. "Emma was _so_ worried about you and it was all because Hatano taught her how to ride a bike?" And once more for good measure. "What's wrong with you!?"

All the while, Amari sits up, arms raised in a vain attempt to defend himself from Tazaki's onslaught.

"You don't understand!"

"Oh." Tazaki raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

"A child only learns how to ride a bike once; it's an important bonding moment between a father and his child." Amari sniffles. "Hatano took that away from me."

Tazaki grips the pillow, having half the mind to hit him again. Maybe it's because he's not a father himself, but he finds Amari's reaction a little, well, ridiculous. Then again, he's used to ridiculous when it comes to Amari. Regardless, it must mean a lot to him if he's acting like this and that's enough for Tazaki to stop and consider the situation.

"That doesn't mean you can just mope around." He sits down next to him and lightly, hits him with the pillow.  "I know it hurts, but Emma still has a lot of firsts to go through and you'll be there for it."

Amari doesn't respond immediately, but he leans onto Tazaki's side.

"You have a point..."

"And you'll get the opportunity again, won't you?" He coughs, realizing the implication and quickly adds, "Theoretically. Hypothetically. Possibly. You might have more kids."

"But it won't be the same." Amari pouts. "Emma is Emma and those children are those children. It's a different experience."

"Is it really?"

"Of course!" Amari says. "Because each child is unique, so each experience won't be the same. And the chance I had with Emma --" Sniffling, he rubs his eyes. "-- was stolen, and I'll never get it back!"

As Amari plops his head on his lap, Tazaki sighs and runs his hands through Amari's hair. He's definitely gonna have to call Hatano about this.

* * *

Tazaki says he's gonna treat Hatano for the day but what Hatano gets instead is a one-on-one with Amari, courtesy of Tazaki himself.

"Emma and I are going out," Tazaki tells them. "You two aren't allowed to leave until you work things out. And don't _either_ of you dare think about leaving because I will know," he says, looking directly at Hatano and Hatano doesn't quite get how Tazaki's able to rework Amari's lock so quickly so that it only opens from the outside, but it's whatever he supposes.  

"We'll be back by evening. You have until then to make up."

And with that, Hatano and Amari are left alone, seated across one another at the table.

Both of them refuse to look at each other -- or more like, Hatano refuses to look at Amari and Amari awkwardly tries to make eye contact -- but Hatano tries not to let the atmosphere get to him, and kicks back in his seat with his hands resting behind his head.

"So," Amari says, breaking the silence.

"So," Hatano repeats.

A beat.

"You taught Emma how to ride a bike."

"I sure as hell did." Hatano smirks as Amari winces. "The kid's a natural."

"I'm sure she is," Amari says. Hatano hears the cracks in his voice. "She's very quick to catch on."

"Unlike a certain someone," Hatano mumbles.

"Look at me, Hatano" The seriousness in Amari's voice catches him off guard and he does just so. He's not used to that disappointed look Amari gives him nor that serious tone he's using -- it's almost like when his own dad's yelling at him, but Hatano reminds himself Amari's not the same guy as his father. "Can you tell me why you did that?"

His words aren't harsh or demanding, but soft and coaxing and it's enough to make Hatano shift in his seat. Okay, _maybe_ he's starting to feel a little bad.

"Because you ruined something of mine."

He could practically hear the ticking of the clock as he waits for Amari to reply. Amari's brows furrow and he tilts his head in that way he does when he's thinking about something.

"Is it about that game thing --"

" _Switch_."

"-- Switch thing?"

Hatano chews the inside of his cheek.

"Yeah."

"I said I'd pay you back."

"It's not enough!" Hatano slams his hands on the table. "I spent weeks saving up for that, y'know? It took me a while to find one in store too. And I didn't even get to open the box."

Amari holds his gaze for a moment before taking his hands in his. Despite how annoyed he is, Hatano lets him.

"I'm _really_ sorry," he says, not breaking eye contact. "I didn't consider your feelings and I hurt you. I'll do anything to make up for it, I promise."

He heaves a sigh.

"But, you know," Amari continues. "You hurt me too. You also ruined something for me."

Here, Hatano looks away.

"You only have one chance to teach your child how to ride a bike." Amari swallows hard. "And now my chance with Emma is gone."

With that said, silence falls over and Hatano isn't quite sure if the quiet is any better. Hesitantly, he takes a peek at Amari and _God_ , there's that kicked puppy look on his face. How the hell is he supposed to stay mad at that? Sighing, Hatano removes his hands from Amari's and crosses his arms.

"I _guess,_ " he starts, "it was a little bit harsh."

"A little bit?"

"Shut up while I'm apologizing."

Amari makes a zipping motion across his lips.

" _Maybe_ I overreacted, but it was really unfair to you." He inhales deeply. "I'm sorry. Like _really_ sorry and..." His mind is a tizzy, trying to think of some way to make up for what he's done. "You can teach my kids to ride a bike."

Slowly, Amari nods.

"All right. That's fair," he says, but then his nose crinkles. "Wait. I thought you didn’t want kids."

A pause.

"You can teach Yoru."

Another pause.

"Okay."

* * *

Later that week, Emma hit the town in her swanky, pink bicycle with Yoru at her side. They became internet sensations.

**Author's Note:**

> everything i write, i write for the punchline. thank u.
> 
> aah anyways, i hope to catch you guys with a long dream update soon! sometimes i just wanna write some other dumb stuff and i guess that ends with stuff like this lololol
> 
> feel free to let me know what you think in the comments, on [tumblr](http://dollofdeath.tumblr.com), or on [twitter](http://twitter.com/nighthawkstars)! thank you guys again for reading, hope you all have a lovely day/night~! ヾ(*´∇`)ﾉ


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